How do you define your self-worth?
The answer is a simple one for a Christian, in theory: God. He's the One whose love and grace gives us worth and our lives meaning.
And yet as we talked about self-worth and self-esteem in my Personality Theory class today, I realized that I don't always live that way. We read and discussed an article about the various contingencies of self-worth (i.e.: finding our value through different avenues). This includes everything from academics to our appearance. When we determine our value through those factors, then we tend to interpret our successes and our failures as adding to or detracting from our worth as a person.
This can also include writing. The article mentioned that if we find our self-worth through a certain avenue and then we are criticized in it, we shut down and do our best to avoid the criticism or make excuses. Why? Because when we find our self-worth in something besides God, then any perceived "failure" on our parts will make us feel like we have little value.
And I am guilty of acting in this way. I really strongly dislike criticism and do my best to avoid it or ignore it. But you want to know something? Authors are supposed to thrive on criticism and editing!
I react in revulsion. If I ask for a critique, what I'm really asking for is validation and a pat on the back. I just want others to tell me that I'm brilliant and I'm definitely heading in the right direction. It's sad, but true. And I'm the same way with academics - I often put a lot more emphasis on grades than on actual learning.
But if we really truly believe that our worth is found in God alone - in His unconditional love and His purpose for our lives - then criticism isn't something to fear. We don't have to be in competition with others or be the very best at something in order to have value.
Does that mean we simply don't try to succeed, though? Not at all! Yet success is redefined when we strive for an eternal perspective. And no matter whether we fail or succeed, God is at work, He should be glorified, and we should be at rest knowing that His love never changes. If He wants me to write a book, then I should weigh advice, give it my all, and forget comparing myself to others (in their writing speed, awards, publication, etc.).
And one more thing: the article addresses an "antidote" for all the issues surrounding the self-esteem issue. The antidote is to focus on others and to be a part of something bigger than yourself. And that's just what loving and serving God is - being a part of God's eternal plan as He calls us to love and serve others and to give Him the glory. Isn't it wondrous to know your worth is in the hands of a God who lovingly created you and has a purpose for your life?
From God's Word:
"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."
~ I Samuel 16:7
"For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of yourself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."
~ Romans 12:3
"And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."
~ Colossians 3:17
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."
~ Psalm 139:14
"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man."
~ Ecclesiastes 12:13
“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:”
~Matthew 6:20
"And the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it."
~ Matthew 13:45-46
"What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."
~I Corinthians 6:19-20
