"Dear God, I was terribly lost,
When the galaxies crossed,
And the sun went dark."
~ from "Galaxies" by Owl City ~
The song "Galaxies" by Owl City is full of emotion - both pain and joy, questions and yet determination.
Right now I'm at a place where I want and need that sort of attitude. I'm full of confusion as to what I need to do next in life. I feel "terribly lost." I was tempted to write a sad, hurting post earlier this morning about my uncertainty when it comes to finding that one next step God wants me to take...
But where is the joy and the determination? God has provided for me thus far. I'm blessed beyond measure! Do I think He's not going to guide me? Do I fear that He's leaving me in the dark?
Author MaryLu Tyndall wrote a beautiful post today about "Eternity and Provision in Every Step." In it she reminds us that God truly cares about us, and we should have deep peace knowing that God is with us at every step and that He has prepared things for us - a path, a purpose, and grace for the journey.
I can't help but wonder - when I feel neglected and uninformed and lost, is it because I'm looking at a fork in the road way up ahead? Maybe I'm expecting my next step to be one that takes me over there, when I should be focusing on what God wants me to do right here, right now.
And a few verses in the book of Hosea remind me that we don't always understand or appreciate what God is doing in our lives...
"When Israel was a child, then I loved him, and called my son out of Egypt....
I taught Ephraim also to go, taking them by their arms; but they knew not that I healed them. I drew them with cords of a man, with bands of love: and I was to them as they that take off the yoke on their jaws, and I laid meat unto them."
~ Hosea 11:1, 3-4 ~
I don't think any of us can know during our lives on earth just how much God does for us. Just think...
"...they knew not that I healed them."
God cradled the people of Israel, protecting them and providing for them. But they didn't recognize that God healed them, or that He acted out of love for them.
I'm sure I'm too often guilty of the same, and how it must break God's heart.
I still have so much to learn about trusting in the Lord, about seeking His guidance but also living for Him where I am, and recognizing His goodness to me, and resting in His plan and His timing.
So I sing with Adam Young -
"Oh, telescope, keep an eye on my only hope,
Lest I blink and get swept off the narrow road."
(Music video from YouTube. Learn more about Owl City at the Owl City website.)
8 comments:
Someone once said that if you started to talk about something or someone in a positive way, you would grow to like them more. Until I deliberately decided to be thankful for who and where I am, I couldn't see the goodness of God as I see it now. The more thankful I am, the more the eyes of my heart are opened to see grace in abundance.
I guess when God asked us to be thankful, it was also for our own good.
It's a very humbling experience.
Oh Amber! I wrote a comment and it didn't post. Realized I wasn't connected to my Google account. Good grief I think I need a handler! My comment didn't post. The gist of it was that I've been in that place of "What's next?" The Lord has a plan for you and he will reveal it in his time. Praying for direction for your "what next?"
Julie
Miranda,
That is a beautiful comment - thank you so much for sharing! I really need to be more deliberate about looking at how much I have to be thankful for in life. I think too much about the future - about how grateful I'll be when such and such books come in the mail, and when I know for sure where I'll be working, and when/if I have a boyfriend, etc. But if I would just take a moment to be grateful for the books I have, the family who supports me through everything, my friends who encourage me, the beautiful place I live - with weather that's not too cold and not too hot, and so, so much more, I would realize that I have no reason in the world to complain or be impatient.
And even if that all were to be taken from me, God's love and grace would not, so I still would have more to be thankful for than I could ever express. It's like an example given in the devotional book Safe in the Shepherd's Arms by Max Lucado:
"You and I could pray like the Puritan. He sat down to a meal of bread and water. He bowed his head and declared, 'All this and Jesus too?'"
Thank you again for the important reminder of the blessings of being thankful and content! Truly a humbling experience, as you say. :)
~Amber
Julie,
Oh, I'm so sorry your comment didn't post! Yeesh, my blog has been giving you the hardest time with comments lately! :(
But thank you for taking the time to try again and to let me know that I'm not the only who's been in this place. It is definitely an encouragement to know that others have been here and made it through - and to be reminded that God does indeed have a plan. :) Thank you very much for your prayers!
~Amber
I know it is cliche but hang in there, girl! I have been where you're at! He will see you through...now if I could do a better job remember that all the time? That would be awesome.
Ruth,
Aww, thank you for your understanding and encouragement! :) And yes, it's so important to remember that no matter what we're facing, God is with us! It's too easy to not even think of that...
~Amber
You're welcome Amber! I'm so glad I helped in some ways. I guess one of the greatest joys of a writer is knowing something they wrote affected a person positively. That is one thing I'm thankful to God for.
Thanks for letting me know. :)
Blessings
Miranda
Miranda,
Yes, definitely one of the greatest writer joys, to see that God used something you wrote to bless someone else in some way! :) Thank you for letting God use you to bless me!
~Amber
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