A Grieving Heart

I don't know if this is too soon to write this, or if it will always be too soon. This is my first deep, close-to-home experience with grief, and the pain is still so raw, the shock still so strong, that I can't comprehend how it will manifest itself in the days and months to come. It is not my intention to trivialize my family's sorrow by writing this here and now, and I hope it won't be seen that way. But you are my friends, and I can't expect understanding and patience from you in this time if you don't know that I'm in need of them. So here I am, with my heart laid bare.

My grandma passed away a couple of days ago, late Halloween morning. My grandpa is the one who has been in the hospital and rehab in the past weeks, and so her death came as a complete shock to us all. Perhaps it shouldn't have, with all of the stress she'd been under, but it did.

My grandma was the sweetest, most caring and wonderful person you could know. She was one of my dearest, dearest friends, and she loved her family with her whole heart. She gave the most beautiful tole painting projects she'd made, absolutely delicious meals, the warmest hugs, and her time - telling stories, writing letters and calling me while I was away at school, and always, always being there to listen, to pray, and to love with all that she had in her.

I'm grateful to God that I had the chance to know her and my grandpa these past twenty-two years, to grow up not far from their home and to get to spend so much time with them. I only wish now that I had more. Her passing was peaceful, and I know she's at home with the Lord. But as my mom said, she made everything special, and my grandpa and parents and sister and aunts and uncles and cousins and I...we'll all miss her desperately until we get to see her again.

My grandma set such a beautiful example of love and humility, and she leaves behind a precious, faith-filled legacy - one that, through God's grace, I pray I will never forget.

If you would be willing to pray for my family - for comfort and peace and wisdom with being there for my grandpa and one another, making arrangements, and facing the loss over and over again - it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all for your friendship and love.