Saturday, November 2, 2013

A Grieving Heart



I don't know if this is too soon to write this, or if it will always be too soon. This is my first deep, close-to-home experience with grief, and the pain is still so raw, the shock still so strong, that I can't comprehend how it will manifest itself in the days and months to come. It is not my intention to trivialize my family's sorrow by writing this here and now, and I hope it won't be seen that way. But you are my friends, and I can't expect understanding and patience from you in this time if you don't know that I'm in need of them. So here I am, with my heart laid bare.

My grandma passed away a couple of days ago, late Halloween morning. My grandpa is the one who has been in the hospital and rehab in the past weeks, and so her death came as a complete shock to us all. Perhaps it shouldn't have, with all of the stress she'd been under, but it did.


My grandma was the sweetest, most caring and wonderful person you could know. She was one of my dearest, dearest friends, and she loved her family with her whole heart. She gave the most beautiful tole painting projects she'd made, absolutely delicious meals, the warmest hugs, and her time - telling stories, writing letters and calling me while I was away at school, and always, always being there to listen, to pray, and to love with all that she had in her.

I'm grateful to God that I had the chance to know her and my grandpa these past twenty-two years, to grow up not far from their home and to get to spend so much time with them. I only wish now that I had more. Her passing was peaceful, and I know she's at home with the Lord. But as my mom said, she made everything special, and my grandpa and parents and sister and aunts and uncles and cousins and I...we'll all miss her desperately until we get to see her again.


My grandma set such a beautiful example of love and humility, and she leaves behind a precious, faith-filled legacy - one that, through God's grace, I pray I will never forget.

If you would be willing to pray for my family - for comfort and peace and wisdom with being there for my grandpa and one another, making arrangements, and facing the loss over and over again - it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all for your friendship and love.

34 comments:

Julie said...

Oh Amber, this makes me so sad. I'm so sorry for your loss and will definitely be praying for you and your family. It is always so hard when we lose someone we love. Thank you for sharing your memories of your Grandma here. Those legacies of special people in our lives are so important. Won't our homecoming in Heaven be that much sweeter when we meet those loved ones that have gone on before? I will pray as you prepare to mourn for your grandmother's passing and celebrate a life well lived. May God give you and your family comfort and peace during these sad days.

Jill Stengl said...

I am so sorry to hear of your family's loss, Amber. I will be praying for you all in these coming days. The greater the blessing, the more painful it is to lose, and you grandma sounds like a rare treasure for any family to hold. Hugs to you, and may the Lord gives you smiles and peace as you remember the joy He gave you through your dear grandma.

Marianne Barkman said...

Praying for you and your family, Amber.

Ruth A. said...

Oh Amber, my friend, I am so sorry for your loss. Having just lost my last grandparent this past summer, I know that sting well. Thank you for sharing your memories!

Brooke said...

Amber, this is a beautiful tribute to your grandma. I'll be praying for you and your family as you walk through this season of grief and loss.

Grace M said...

I am sorry about our loss. The loss of a grandmother is not an easy thing- especially if your close to her. I'll pray for you, Amber.

*hugs*

Grace

Hannah said...

I'll be praying for you, Amber. Rest in the beautiful knowledge that you will see her again in a world where there will be no more tears.

Cathy said...

So sorry to hear of your grandma's passing. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Sounds like she was a wonderful lady.

Clara Darling said...

Amber, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what it's like to lose someone dear and near to your heart, and it's a pain like no other. I'll be praying for you and your family in the days to come.
God bless.

Project Journal said...

Amber,
I am so very sorry for your loss. Grief is not easy to work through, I am most positive that you will be greatly supported through this difficult time. I have no words to give you great comfort, but I know who will.

Matthew 11:25
John 14:1
John 14:27

You and your family are all in my thoughts and prayers, Amber,
Hannah

Ganise C. said...

Dear, Amber,

I'm so, so, so very sorry for your loss.

You and yours are sheltered and loved during this difficult season.

May Jesus manifest His Presence unto you like never before.

((Hugs))

Melanie Backus said...

Amber, I am so very sorry for your great loss. A grandmother is so very special and what a blessing you had to live close to yours. She was a great part of your life and you were a great part of hers. I will remember you and your family in my prayers.

Anna B. said...

I'm praying for you! I, too, am grieving. A friend's sister (who I actually never met) died yesterday after a horrible car accident.

I will keep you in my prayers. I look forward to the day when you can introduce me to your wonderful grandmother and I will introduce you to my friend and his sister.:)

Rebeka B. said...

Dear, dear Amber: I am sorry for your loss and the grief you are suffering. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and heart. Your grandma sounds like an extraordinary woman, and I will be happy to meet her when we all reach the Farthest Shore. My love and prayers with you all in your time of sorrow. <3 I send many hugs through the screen.

Rina S said...

I'm so sad to hear of your loss. I lost two grandparents within a month, expected but unexpected at the same time. It's a rough time, but I hope you have an uplifting time remembering your favorite memories with family, relatives and friends. Sending hugs and prayers.

Crystal said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Amber! Praying for comfort and peace during this difficult time you and your family are going through.

*Hugs*
Crystal

Sherida Stewart said...

Amber, we will keep you and all your family in our prayers, knowing it is difficult to say good-bye until you are all reunited in Heaven one day. You will always hold those special memories of Grandma in your heart. Sending blessings and God's comfort to you all!

Carissa said...

Amber,
I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Linda Maendel said...

My heart goes out to you, Amber. May God comfort and sustain you for the time ahead, and as you adjust to life without your dear grandma.

Virginia Carmichael Munoz said...

I'm so sorry to hear this! Praying for your peace and comfort. My grandma pass away ten years ago and I still miss her desperately. I find myself wanting to pick up the phone and tell her good news, bad news, no news...
Take that love you have for her and spread it around. the world needs it and it's her gift to you.

Hugs and prayer,
Virginia

Amanda Stanley said...

My dear friend, what a beautiful tribute to your grandma. She sounded like such a wonderful person. She certainly passed down all those beautiful qualities to her daughter and granddaughter. Again, my heart is grieving with you and your sweet family during this time. My family and I are keeping you all in prayer. May Jesus continue to be your comfort, peace and strength.

Love & Hugs,
Amanda

Kara said...

I'm sooooo sorry for your loss, Amber, will definitely keep you and the family in prayer as you mourn this precious woman. She's laughing with Jesus and will be reunited with you all someday. What a blessing that you were able to share such a wonderful relationship with her.....sending you big time hugs sweet girl.

Kate said...

Amber, I'm a so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers. The loss of a grandparent is hard. I have been there twice. It is wonderful to know that they are at peace now in heaven, but it is still a sad time. Praying for you.

Jennette Mbewe said...

I'm sorry to hear this. Will be praying.

Lisa Gail Green said...

Amber, I'm so, soooo sorry for your loss. I know those words feel sort of empty, but it's true. I've now lost all four of my grandparents (my last grandma went a few years ago) and I love reliving the good memories. In fact, my baby is named after her. I still miss them, but I also have good memories and it sounds like you've got tons of those! :D

Samantha Jo said...

Amber Dear - thoughts and prayers are with you and your family... losing someone special is so difficult... may the Lord comfort your heart and give you peace as you walk through this challenging time.

Michelle said...

Dear Amber,

Please accept my deepest sympathy. I'm so sorry to hear this. What a blessing to have such an amazing woman in your life.

Praying for comfort and peace at this difficult time.

Love & Hugs,
Michelle

Juju at Tales of Whimsy.com said...

Oh sweetheart. I am so very sorry for your loss. *hugs*

Jamie Lapeyrolerie said...

Oh friend! I'm definitely praying for you! It's never easy and I'm praying you and your family can enjoy the wonderful memories.

Lots of hugs from Texas!

Jamie

Bluerose said...

Oh, Amber, I'm so sorry for your loss! My prayers are with you and your family!

Heather Day Gilbert said...

Just read this, and I know how deep a godly grandma's loss can be. Prayers for you all!

Amber Stokes said...

Thank you all so very much for your compassionate words, your thoughtfulness, your prayers, and your love during this time. I'm so grateful for your friendship and understanding, and I'm blessed by this caring community.

With Love & Gratitude,
Amber

May the K9 Spy (and KC Frantzen) said...

Beautifully written testament to your grandparents' legacy.

You are one blessed granddaughter and will continue to share her love and life lessons with others. We know her because we know you...

I'm joining many others in praying for each of you and know the Lord is rejoicing that she is there with Him. Because of our faith in Christ, I look forward to the moment when you introduce us in person!

The peace that passes all understanding be with you all...

Rachelle Rea said...

Aw, Amber, I'm so sorry. My prayers are with you and yours.

((Hugs))